Finding Home Page 17

  “What?”

  “The dress. It’s made for you.”

  Phoebe refocused her attention beyond her own reflection. The outfit was the most exquisite she’d ever seen. A lacy cream colored blouse tucked into a skirt beneath which peeked a matching slip trimmed in eyelet. She saw herself in the dress standing next to Gage in front of the preacher. “How much is it?”

  “Why don’t you try it on,” the saleslady coaxed. “It’s on sale.”

  “I like a bargain,” said Phoebe. The lace on the blouse draped her shoulders and enhanced her slender neck. The sale price was fifty-nine dollars plus tax. Heart thudding and feeling faint Phoebe parted with the money—more money than she’d ever spent on a single garment in her life. She went back to the bench in front of the theater, waited for Gage, closed her eyes and prayed for the next morning to produce the best crab catch in existence.

  “Phoebe! What’ve you done to your hair?”

  “Had it tamed.”

  “You sure did.”

  “You don’t like it?”

  “I like it fine. It makes you look...elegant.”

  Phoebe’s eyes burned with pleasure, but her mouth turned down at the corners. “I bought my wedding dress.”

  “Don’t sound so terrible about it. Let me see.”

  “Can’t. That’s bad luck. Anyway, I might want to take it back. Did you get a suit?”

  “I got fitted for one. Come on. Let’s browse—”

  “I ain’t movin’ off this bench.” She was determined not to be parted from another dime. She had three good reasons in the back of her mind why she should return at once to the dress shop and get her money back. They were Ma, Pa and Erlene.

  “You’re the unhappiest bride-to-be I’ve ever seen,” Gage accused.

  Phoebe forced her most winning smile. “I’m just nervous. I ain’t never been married before.”

  Gage put his arm around her and drew her close. “It’s not going to be much different from the way we’re living now.”

  Oh, yes it is, thought Phoebe.

  ~~~~

  Deep into the night Phoebe made love to Gage with an uncommon frenzy. She kissed his toes, his knees, his chest and explored every line and tendon of his body as if driven by necessity to commit the whole of him to memory.

  At one point Gage took her hands into his, halting her. “Phoebe, we have an entire lifetime.”

  “Promise you’ll love me no matter what.”

  “The vows go ‘for better or for worse.’“

  “Suppose with me it’s worse?”

  “If your tongue and elbows don’t get any sharper, life with you won’t be anything but better. Now lie back, some things in life are better done slow.”

  NINE

  At breakfast Gage made the announcement. “What do you kids think? Phoebe and I are going to be married.”

  Maydean was speechless.

  Willie-Boy said, “Does that mean you won’t have time to teach me to ride my bike today?”

  Dorie cut a conspirator’s glance at Phoebe. “That’s nice, Daddy. Maydean’s gonna be my aunt.”

  Gage leaned back in his chair. “I don’t know why, but I did expect some banshee yelling—”

  Phoebe couldn’t put it off another minute. “And Ma and Pa and Erlene are coming.” It felt so good to finally get the words out she sagged against the sink counter.

  “When?” yelped Willie-Boy. “Oh, I miss Ma somethin’ hurtful!”

  “I don’t know yet,” said Phoebe, which was the truth, because she hadn’t yet called the Greyhound bus station for the time the bus from Cottontown arrived.

  Maydean found her tongue, directing her question to Gage. “It’s okay with you if Ma and Pa and Erlene come?”

  “It’s fine, Maydean. I want to meet them. And if you and Willie-Boy want, you can stay with Phoebe and myself until school starts.”

  “I never want to leave,” said Willie-Boy. “Ma won’t either when—”

  “Willie-Boy!” Phoebe interrupted. “You can help me harvest crabs this mornin’.”

  Dorie got up and went to stand at her father’s elbow. “Phoebe said she’d get me a real baby.”

  “I’m goin’ crabbin’. Now!” Phoebe grabbed her hat with one hand, Willie-Boy with the other.

  Gage was out the door on her heels. “Get the chicks some water, Willie-Boy, I want to have a private word with your sister. A real baby, eh?” he said to Phoebe after the boy made himself scarce.

  “By ‘n’ by, is what I meant.”

  “Is it? You and Dorie must’ve had a nice little chat.”

  “I didn’t want to get my heart set on you and then have Dorie dragging about unhappy.”

  “You stole my thunder.”

  “I didn’t know you wanted to do the tellin’.”

  “I’m the head of this house.”

  “Bein’ partners is better.”

  “Okay, but I’m the head of this partnership. If it happens there’s any news such as any more little Morgans, I want to be the first to know.”

  “You will be.”

  “Have you got anything else up your sleeve?”

  “Lor! What makes you say that?”

  “Your chin’s coming at me.”

  “Can’t think of anythin’.”

  “I’m not a man who likes surprises, Phoebe. They’re never in my favor.”

  “I’ll remember,” Phoebe said and sat down on the stoop to tie her shoelaces.

  “Well, since we’re officially engaged, I’m going to make you a present of the crab business.”

  Phoebe kept sitting, she didn’t trust herself to stand. “You are?” She could see herself getting rich on her own account. “First thing I’m gonna do is buy you a wedding ring.”

  “To match the one you’ve put in my nose? No thank you. Can’t wear rings doing the work I do.”

  “What can I give you then?”

  “What you’ve been giving me. Yourself.”

  Phoebe tilted her head and lowered her lashes. “You want to go crabbin’ with me this mornin’?”

  “No more boat gymnastics. You’re trying to put me on crutches.”

  “We can just—”

  “No. You’ve moved into my brain as it is. My body can’t keep up. Go harvest your crabs before I end up in a wheelchair.” He started to walk away, then turned. “What I’m looking forward to...is going to bed with you, waking up with you. I never had that with Velma. She wanted the romance, but not—”

  “Gage? Is Velma going to be living with us?”

  He shook his head. “No. She’s gone. It’s just you and me, and Dorie.”

  And Ma and Pa and Erlene and Maydean and Willie-Boy, thought Phoebe. Dear heavenly Father, what am I going to do?

  ~~~~

  As soon as she returned from selling her crabs, Phoebe called the Greyhound bus station. The bus wasn’t scheduled into Bayou La Batre. The bus station was in Mobile and the bus from Cottontown was expected at four forty-five.

  After putting it off and putting it off, at three-thirty she went out to the gate shack. Between helping customers, Gage was teaching Willie-Boy how to ride the bicycle he’d put together.

  “I want to go into Mobile,” she said.

  “Shopping again?”

  “I just want to go.”

  “For what?”

  “Will you keep an eye on the kids?”

  “What’s the mystery?”

  “It’s no mystery to me. I just want to go by myself.” She could explain everything to Ma, so Ma wouldn’t be expecting to live under the same roof.

  Gage gave her a puzzled look, then locked the gate shack. “Let’s go talk about this. You’ve been acting funny off and on for two weeks.”

  They sat on the porch steps. Phoebe’s eyes were glued fearfully to his.

  “Spill it,” he said.

  “It’s Ma and Pa and Erlene. They’re cornin’.”

  “I know that.”

  “But you said you didn’t
like surprises.”

  “I’m not surprised. We discussed it.”

  “They’re comin’ today.”

  “You called them?”

  Phoebe hesitated. “Do you mind?”

  “I don’t mind their coming. I mind you not telling me you called.”

  “How mad are you gonna get?”

  He retreated into himself for a few moments. “Don’t guess I’ll get mad at all.”

  “Gage! Truly?”

  He grimaced. “Now I’m nervous. Meeting prospective in-laws...”

  “Their bus gets in this afternoon. You can stay here. I’ll take Willie-Boy—”

  “I wouldn’t think of it. I’ll go with you to pick them up. We’ll take the car.”

  “But—”

  “No buts. I’ll get a shower.” He put his arm around her. “One thing I won’t forgive you for...had I known we’d have a houseful tonight, I’d’ve taken you up on that offer you made me this morning.”

  She was powerfully aware of his arm about her. Powerfully aware of the delicacy of the situation. “You’re certain we’re gonna get married no matter what? I don’t want to introduce you to Ma as my intended, then have to take it back.”

  “We’ll set it up with the pastor tomorrow after church. How’s that for positive?”

  Phoebe looked out over the yard. Willie-Boy was on his bike. Maydean and Dorie were playing drive-in in the old car. Ma and Pa and Erlene were assured a fine welcome. First thing Monday, she’d take her crab money and find them a place to live. All was so good with her world, she was beside herself.

  “Gage?” She put her hand on his knee, trailed it slowly up the inside of his thigh. “Can I come into the shower with you and wash your back?”

  ~~~~

  Willie-Boy was the first to spot his parents. Ma Hawley smothered him in hugs “Oh, I’ve missed my best boy!”

  Phoebe felt suddenly shy as she introduced Gage. “Ma, this is the man I told you about. We’re gonna get married. That’s why he wanted you to come. Gage, this is Ma. I reckon you can call her Annabelle. That’s my pa, Elmo, and that’s Erlene.”

  “You’re Phoebe, aren’t you?” Erlene said as Gage shook hands all around.

  “That’s right.”

  “I remembered.”

  Phoebe kept a weather eye on Gage as he took in her family. He couldn’t miss Pa’s walking sticks or Erlene’s childlike demeanor. Ma was shooting her questioning looks, but Phoebe gave an imperceptible shake of her head.

  Luggage was gathered, Erlene guided, and Pa directed. Willie-Boy filled in the conversational gaps telling about the junkyard, his bike, his welding career, and the terrible girl, Kimmie, who had tried to kiss him.

  “Have I ever been in a car before?” asked Erlene.

  “‘Course you have,” Phoebe told her. She caught Gage glancing at Erlene in the rearview mirror. His expression was inscrutable.

  “I brought my knee pads,” said Elmo. “I mean to get in a winter garden. You said the land was fair rich?”

  “We already got potato hills in,” said Phoebe. “You don’t have to put in a garden for us, Pa. I’ll do that.”

  “I want to,” said Elmo. “I like to make myself useful.”

  Phoebe smiled over Willie-Boy’s head at Gage. “Hawleys can’t sit still for a minute.” Then to avoid any slips of tongue Phoebe plied question after question about Joey, Vinnie, the baby and every former neighbor she could think of—even her old mill boss whom she disliked. The inhabitants of Cottontown exhausted, she prattled about Maydean, Dorie, and crabbing.

  “I wasn’t expectin’ to find you set up with a man,” Annabelle said in the second Phoebe was trying to think up another conversational gambit.

  “Oh, Ma! You like to joke. Gage thinks I have wit, too. He said so. I promised you’d bake the weddin’ cake.”

  “Reckon I will, if you have the ingredients.”

  Phoebe was hoarse by the time Gage halted the car in front of the house. “Lor!” exclaimed Annabelle, eyeing him with respect. “Phoebe girl, you done good.”

  “There’s Dorie and Maydean. Ma look at Maydean. She’s gettin’ prettier. And this is Gage’s daughter, Dorie.”

  “I woulda knowed her anywheres by the way you described her in your letter,” said Annabelle.

  “On the telephone, Ma. I told you about Dorie on the telephone. This mornin’, when I called you.”

  “Telephone? But—oh, my, yes.” Annabelle went on quickly and smiled lopsided at Gage. “I’m gettin’ so I disremember about as bad as Erlene.”

  ~~~~

  Gage took in Annabelle Hawley, her red fussy face, small statue, and fluttering hands. Next his gaze shifted to Elmo, stooped beyond his age and maneuvering painfully on his canes, and Erlene who had an innocence more profound than that of his own nine-year-old daughter. Wearing a frown, he looked at Phoebe. Her gamin face, framed now so innocently by the halo of curls, was a picture of guilt and duplicity. He’d been conned. The whole of the past few weeks had been nothing more than a hoax. Love, sex, joy. The good feelings. All a trick. All that he admired in Phoebe, her single mindedness, had been aimed at one goal; to find a place for her family. He’d been duped into offering his own. Gorge rose up in his throat.

  “I’ll leave Phoebe to get you settled,” he said with stiff civility.

  “Why, certain. We’ll just make ourselves to home.”

  “I’m sure you will.”

  His tone and the pasted-on smile sent a shiver of alarm racing down Phoebe’s spine. She trailed him out onto the porch. “Where you goin’, Gage?”

  “We’ll talk later,” he said, looking hard into her eyes.

  Phoebe felt the weight of reality crushing down on her. “You said they could come!”

  “I guess I just wanted to believe in magic, in fairy tales. You conned me from the instant we met. That letter you wrote the first day you were here... There wasn’t any job. It was to tell your parents you’d found a sucker, wasn’t it?”

  “I can make you understand.” She put her hand on his arm. He jerked away.

  “It hurts, Phoebe. I didn’t know it could hurt so much. First Velma, now you. He shook his head. “Being disillusioned twice in one lifetime is once too much for me.”

  She wanted to follow him to the car, plead with him to allow her to explain. She wanted to grasp his arm, keep him from leaving, but Erlene was trying to march past and Ma was calling her, exclaiming over the size of the house, the television, insisting Phoebe show her the bedrooms, the kitchen.

  Gage didn’t show up for supper. Phoebe sorted out the sleeping arrangements, which left her the sofa or Gage’s bed. But she didn’t dare sleep there. She lay stiffly on the sofa, waiting, listening to night sounds— the squawks of gulls, the muted chorus of crickets, the occasional barge horn alerting the drawbridge tender, but mostly she was listening for the sound of Gage’s car.

  ~~~~

  Gage drove to the point that overlooked the bay. God had played a joke on him. He’d been vulnerable. He could see that now. Like all strong people, he’d taken his loneliness in stride—until Phoebe had burst upon his household and his heart.

  Phoebe had homed in on his vulnerability, and like a fool he’d just lapped up all the attention she’d bestowed on him. But now she’d filled his house with her family, and he knew unerringly that had been her goal from the moment she’d set foot on his property. And stupid as he was, he’d gone and left it to them.

  By damn, he’d go back. He’d... No, he couldn’t turn them out. He leaned his head against the door frame and closed his eyes. Visions of Phoebe leaped into his mind’s eye. He would let them stay. Maybe they’d soothe some of the pain in him.

  He would rest a bit first. Rest, think and plan. Then he’d go back to the house and give Phoebe all the misery she deserved.

  He would let her fuss and fume and wonder until she was dangling at the end of her precious Hawley pride. He’d give her a taste of how it felt to be humiliated before he declare
d everything fine and dandy.

  ~~~~

  The sun came up on a morning full of promise. Phoebe didn’t have eyes for the beauty of it.

  Ma Hawley had church on her mind. Phoebe pleaded a headache and watched her family drive out of the yard. Dorie and Willie-Boy sat between Ma and Pa to guide the way. Maydean, and Erlene sat cross-legged in the truckbed on a blanket to protect their Sunday clothes.

  Phoebe couldn’t face the disappointment of church; Gage had promised to speak to the preacher. She supposed now that whatever Christian spirit she’d resurrected in him had shrunk to nothingness. She had that cross of sin to bear. She had a terrible emptiness inside. She couldn’t decipher which hurt the most.

  She was washing breakfast dishes when she heard the front door slam. Her heart began pounding like a trip hammer.

  He stopped short when he came on her in the kitchen. Beard stubble was thick on his face. His clothes were wrinkled. The anguish in his eyes easily read.

  Hawley pride was shredded, but there was enough left to prompt: “Are you full of liquor?”

  “Don’t talk to me.”

  “You still feelin’ sorry for yourself?”

  He turned on his heel. “I’m going to bed.”

  “Gage! Wait!”

  “For what? Another one of your plots designed to separate me from house and money?”

  “You didn’t have to go off last night. You coulda slept in your own bed. You coulda slept with me. You coulda listened!” She was talking to his back. Phoebe raced into the living room and scooped her purse from beneath the sofa pillow. He was disrobing when she burst into his room.

  “Get out!”

  “Look!” She unzipped her purse, dragged out the bills. “This is what I put by for a place for my folks. I never meant them to stay here. First thing Monday morning, I’m gonna find them a place.”

  “Good. Include yourself.” He kicked off his loafers and lay down on the bed.

  “I love you, Gage.”

  “Sounds glib now. How many men between Cottontown and Bayou La Batre have you told that?”